a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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