I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
