You're so nebulous sometimes
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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