Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
