our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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