flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
