she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
