I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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