It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
