I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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