You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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