is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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