We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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