Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
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Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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