with your own penis?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
