According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
