Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
