I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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