bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
