after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
