There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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