is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
