It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Less talking, more tequila
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
