Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
