from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize