He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
no. you can't hotbox the world.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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