god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
