nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house