it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
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No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
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No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.