You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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