i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
