Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
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New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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