I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
