the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
