Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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