i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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