idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize