What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
