I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
