I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
