I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize