Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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