I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
