Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think my vagina is haunted
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
