she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
