Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
