I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
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High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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