was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
