Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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