Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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