Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
