Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
