Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
