BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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