Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
