they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
