Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
