I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
