Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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