My pussy is not your playground.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize