Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize