There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.