Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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