Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  It'll hurt less than being alone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much (1-407): It'll hurt less than being alone http://tfl.nu/6ydx
  Replies (12) Good night (4798) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS http://tfl.nu/jjgj
  Replies (36) Good night (5130) Bad night (1567)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever http://tfl.nu/se2n
  Replies (47) Good night (6995) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls. http://tfl.nu/stc1
  Replies (8) Good night (3874) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint. http://tfl.nu/dk3f
  Replies (14) Good night (1587) Bad night (3066)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission. http://tfl.nu/o1g8
  Replies (9) Good night (4070) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew. http://tfl.nu/8r8n
  Replies (31) Good night (3721) Bad night (1538)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow. http://tfl.nu/kya1
  Replies (1) Good night (1355) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good. http://tfl.nu/1b0u
  Replies (2) Good night (1034) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  You gays are geniuses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now (1-931): You gays are geniuses http://tfl.nu/19l5
  Replies (6) Good night (1624) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (19): View more from

  Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (19): Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection http://tfl.nu/jg8t
  Replies (1) Good night (892) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done http://tfl.nu/5hl8
  Replies (1) Good night (690) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec" http://tfl.nu/979e
  Replies (0) Good night (657) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet. http://tfl.nu/v65u
  Replies (4) Good night (727) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that. http://tfl.nu/3y8k
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (341)

Randomize