Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

(917): View more from New York City

Thats what she said

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(516): gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long (917): Thats what she said http://tfl.nu/ke6j

Replies (13) Good night (2103) Bad night (789)
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(+26): View more from

Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

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(+26): Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY http://tfl.nu/9qwj

Replies (30) Good night (7477) Bad night (2673)
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(510): View more from California

Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.

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(510): Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries. http://tfl.nu/ot3m

Replies (7) Good night (3810) Bad night (732)
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(772): View more from Florida

bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

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(772): bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls http://tfl.nu/txmo

Replies (58) Good night (2496) Bad night (8033)
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(253): View more from Washington

so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning

(1-253): View more from Washington

because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'

(253): View more from Washington

no more ever clear

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(253): so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning (1-253): because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha' (253): no more ever clear http://tfl.nu/f9lp

Replies (33) Good night (7504) Bad night (1130)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please

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(202): im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please http://tfl.nu/aagw

Replies (29) Good night (4432) Bad night (1633)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.

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(860): Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message. http://tfl.nu/jwe9

Replies (19) Good night (9680) Bad night (959)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.

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(412): This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun. http://tfl.nu/9a4x

Replies (10) Good night (1493) Bad night (3728)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...

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(413): thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover... http://tfl.nu/lbcp

Replies (7) Good night (1092) Bad night (3321)
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(214): View more from Texas

Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.

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(214): Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more. http://tfl.nu/1w8z

Replies (18) Good night (5625) Bad night (1046)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!

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(443): You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously! http://tfl.nu/q8vz

Replies (9) Good night (1780) Bad night (745)
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(812): View more from Indiana

whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"

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(812): whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight" http://tfl.nu/xl0q

Replies (1) Good night (1122) Bad night (527)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?

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(778): I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/gequ

Replies (6) Good night (797) Bad night (621)
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(707): View more from California

Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa

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(707): Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa http://tfl.nu/616r

Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (321)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".

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(920): We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started". http://tfl.nu/xqcg

Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (297)

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