I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.