I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
