i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
