doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Alive.
So much puke
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
