Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
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What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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