yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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