We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
