I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
