i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
