fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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